Dragon Age Fan Fiction

Cullen was stuck in a nightmare. He knew he was no longer being tortured at Ferelden’s circle. That was one of the more galling parts of his nightmares; he still couldn’t break out of them.

He woke, sweating and shaking, and reached for her. Cullen needed to hold her, to remind himself that it was all in the past. What he found was an empty and cold spot beside him. Where was she?

His head spun as Cullen sat up rapidly. Then he remembered. Medb had left for the Emerald Graves soon after they got back from the Exalted Plains. Cullen fell back on the bed. Maker, he missed her.

Even though Cullen still had nightmares when he was with her, they seemed less powerful. Then there were the rare times he’d be sleeping peacefully and she was the one being tormented by her dreams. Cullen would run his fingers through her hair, hold her close, and whisper that it was only a dream. He knew she did similar things for him.

When he had rough nights, he’d wake to a severe case of messy hair. Medb always laughed it off, saying that even when she was sleeping she couldn’t stop touching his hair. How could she resist?

Cullen sighed, seeing that it was still night with the hole in his roof. He refused to sleep in Medb’s quarters when she wasn’t there. They were too empty without her. She wasn’t physically imposing. But Maker, there were times that Medb was the only person he could see.

Since he was wide awake, Cullen got out of bed. He was writing to Medb daily. However, he didn’t want to worry her about his nightmares, and decided against getting an early start on his letter. The headache he was already suffering from said today wasn’t going to be a good day.

After getting dressed, he climbed down the ladder and went out onto the battlements for fresh air. Cullen closed his eyes as the wind whipped around him. A storm was coming. He worried if Medb would be safe returning.

“Commander?”

Cullen looked to his left. Not seeing anyone, he looked down. Dagna was beside him, “Hello, Dagna. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m okay. I heard from my father. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?” Dagna nervously glanced away from him.

“My parents died some years ago. I would like to think I had a good relationship with them.” Not as good as he should’ve, but that wasn’t their fault.

“My father didn’t want me to become what I am or live on the surface. He still doesn’t approve. But my mom wanted to say hi. She’s sick and I…” Dagna twisted her fingers together.

“You want to go back,” Cullen understood her hesitancy even though they had very different reasons for it, “We can send an entourage with you so you won’t be physically harmed.”

“I won’t be able to help if the Inquisitor needs me,” Dagna had tears in her eyes.

“If she does have need of you, we’ll send word and whatever supplies you need,” Cullen wasn’t going to keep Dagna away from her sick mother. She should have the chance he never had. His parents died while he was being tortured in Kinloch Hold. He doesn’t know where their memorials are. Was Mia able to have memorials built for them?

“Thank you, Commander.” Dagna left to pack. He wouldn’t be surprised if Sera went with her.

Cullen walked back to his office. He now had something to write to Medb that wasn’t him complaining about his nightmares or repeatedly saying how much he missed her. His headache was getting worse and he needed to get his letter to her now.

He also wrote to Mia asking about their parents. After sending them off with a delivery scout, Cullen locked the doors to his office and went back to bed. Cullen held the pillow she used when they slept in his quarters. It still had the faint scent of her. Then his tortured memories took over, giving him no respite.

Medb wanted to reach Tarasyl’an Te’las as fast as possible, despite being tired and achy. There were too many tree memorials to elves in the Emerald Graves and it broke her heart. They also found Red Templars harvesting red lyrium. She had to inform Cullen that one of them was named Carroll.

His response back about how he knew him and the request of giving Carroll a quick end, concerned her. He had been writing to her daily. Cullen’s letters stopped after that. She rode hard for Skyhold.

When she and her companions arrived they were greeted by Josephine pacing. Something wasn’t right. Her concern turned to worry when the Ambassador jumped as Medb said, “Josephine?”

“Oh, Your Worship!” Josephine frowned, “Is the Commander with you?”

“No. Why?” Medb glanced at Dorian, her worry growing. Dorian shrugged his shoulders, at a loss.

“Oh dear,” Josephine sighed, “His office doors are locked and he hasn’t allowed anyone in for days. Leliana had something to attend to and isn’t here.”

Medb took off at a run, her back pain and heartache forgotten. She had a sinking feeling she knew why Cullen wasn’t responding to anyone. Slamming her hand against the wooden door, Medb shouted, “Cullen! It’s Medb!”

She listened at the door for any sound on instinct. Of course she wasn’t going to hear anything behind it with as thick as the door was. If only she had a spell where she could move through solid objects.

Cole murmured beside her, “So much hurt. Why won’t they leave me be? Where is she?” He looked at her, “Help him?”

“Cole, I need you to go to Solas.” Medb smiled reassuringly at the spirit. At least, she hoped she did. As soon as he was on his way she turned to Varric, “Pick the lock.”

“I don’t think Curly’s going to like that,” Varric said before doing what she asked.

“I don’t care,” She murmured, tapping her foot. Medb knew Varric was fast, but every second felt like an hour.

“Your rendezvous awaits,” Varric bowed at the now open door.

Medb could tell he was worried too. Dorian pushed past her and she snarled, “Dorian.”

“If something happened to him and that something is still here, what do you think the Commander would want me to do?” He was completely unrepentant.

“You know it’s not…” His stare said it all and she sighed, “I know why he’s refusing to see anyone. It needs to be me.”

“I’m delighted you know,” Dorian quipped and followed her, magic at the ready.

She climbed up the ladder, looking at the bed first. Pushing the sensual memories away, Medb next looked at his chest. Finding nothing, she glanced at the floor. Maybe there was a note that fell? Medb heard a shuffling in the far corner. Looking up, she saw that the hole was bigger.

When she looked below the hole she saw him. Snow was under his feet. He was nearly naked, shivering, and holding his sword. Tears stung her eyes. Medb held her hands out, showing she meant no harm. She murmured, “Cullen, Ma Vehnan, it’s Medb. I’m here.”

“Stay away! You don’t know what I’ve done!” He brandished his sword, “I just want her back!”

Medb jumped back, bumping into Dorian, who whispered, “He doesn’t look well.”

“He’s delirious,” Medb slowly approached Cullen, humming softly. She saw his eyes focus on her and Medb hummed louder. They were close enough to touch each other, but she stood still, waiting.

“Medb,” He whimpered and crashed to the floor. She caught the sword right before it landed on him.

She looked back at Dorian, “Can you carry him?”

“No. I’ll get Bull,” Dorian left them alone.

“I’m here, Cullen,” She tugged and pulled to get him out of the snow, he barely budged. Giving up, Medb knelt behind him and had Cullen rest his head on her thighs, wrapping her arms around him. Softly singing a lullaby, her tears ran down her face.

She knew lyrium withdrawal was bad, but it was never like this. Bull came up the ladder and grabbed blankets off of Cullen’s bed. Damn it, she should’ve thought of that. As Bull hoisted her lover over his shoulder, Medb ordered, “Take him to my chambers.”

Medb followed Bull out and saw Josie waiting, she briefly paused, “Please get someone to fix the hole in Cullen’s roof immediately.”

Josephine nodded, “At once.”

Once they were in her chambers, Bull lowered Cullen to the bed, “He’s burning up, Boss.”

“Thanks, Bull,” Medb tried for a smile. Injuries she could do if she had to. Illnesses…

She sighed, “Can you send up a healer, please?”

“I’ll get Rocky,” Bull left.

Medb covered Cullen with extra blankets after failing to get the ones already on the bed out from underneath him. She felt his forehead and wasn’t surprised by what she found. After she got a bowl of water and a cloth, Medb cooled the water with her magic.

Putting the now damp cloth on his head, she murmured, “I love you, Ma Vehnan.”

Rocky knocked on the door and Medb wrote down everything he told her. She appreciated Rocky’s advice, but who was she supposed to talk to about lyrium withdrawal? Has Cullen told anyone besides her and Cassandra? And how much does Cassandra know about what he went through at Ferelden’s circle?

Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed her salve, and climbed into bed with Cullen. Massaging the salve into the back of his neck and shoulders, Medb sang softly. He said he liked her singing.

For two days she did nothing except care for Cullen. Her focus was solely on Cullen getting well. She sent food back, untouched for the third time in a day.

Medb heard pounding on the door. When Medb opened it, she was surprised to see Dorian, “What’s wrong?”

“I could ask the same,” Dorian pushed his way in, “You’re not eating?”

“No. I ate,” Medb walked up the stairs and checked on Cullen.

“Medb, when the kitchen staff is gossiping about why the Inquisitor isn’t eating…” Dorian stared at her.

She stared at Cullen, her guilt laid bare, “Cullen being sick is my fault.”

“Wait… what?”

“Remember that letter I sent back about Carroll?” Medb’s tears stung her eyes, “I had Cassandra with me so there was no one for him to go to when things got bad.”

“Carroll?” Dorian was confused. The glare Medb gave him said he should remember, “Carroll was a Red Templar?”

“Before that he was a Templar from Kinloch Hold. Cullen knew him.” Medb’s voice caught, “This is my fault.”

“Not your fault,” Cullen rasped.

“Cullen!” Medb ran to him. He oofed as she threw herself on him.

“Glad to see you’re on the mend, Commander,” Dorian wisely left.

“Don’t blame yourself for my poor condition,” He whispered before coughing.

“We’ll talk about that later,” She felt his forehead and sighed in relief, “Your fever broke.”

Cullen woke to a crying Medb. He laid still at first, thinking she was having a nightmare. Then she started murmuring, “Ma Vehnan, ir abelas. You’re getting sick was my fault. Fenedhis Iasa, how selfish can I be?”

He was learning that she would only speak elvhen when she was upset or use phrases that everybody knew. Cullen rolled to his side and wrapped her in his arms. His throat still felt scratchy and whispered, “Sweetheart, none of my getting sick was your fault.”

“How can you say that? I took Cassandra with me,” Medb pushed against him to get away, “I know what you go through and I took with me the one person who could help you.”

“It wasn’t the only time you took Cassandra with you. I was fine all the other times,” He knew she was angry at herself. Cullen wasn’t going to let her guilt win, “You aren’t the one that terrorizes my dreams. Nor were you waking me up from the little restful sleep I received.”

Pausing to kiss the top of her head, he murmured against her hair, “You didn’t cause me to get a headache as soon as I got out of bed. With the lyrium withdrawal and…”

“See? I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about Carroll,” Medb half heartedly pushed against him.

“Carroll?” It took Cullen a second to remember, “Do you think your letter caused me to get sick and spiral?”

“The last letter I got from you was when you told me to make it a quick death if I could,” Medb sniffled.

“Oh, Medb,” Cullen smiled, it was making sense now. Later, he was going to have to find out why several of his letters went missing, “Your letter did bring back memories. But they were mostly of how unkind Carroll was.”

“If it wasn’t that, then why did I find you standing underneath the hole in your ceiling, without clothes, and holding your sword?” Medb pushed up onto her elbow.

Cullen shrugged helplessly. The days where he was delirious were full of hazy memories and nightmares, “I remember needing to protect you from those who tortured me.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Please stop blaming yourself?” Cullen pleaded, “Maybe everything hit so hard because I was already sick.”

“Were you feeling sick?” Medb had snuggled back into him. Now, she was sitting.

“More tired than usual. I thought it was because I lacked sleep,” He pulled her back down, “And I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” She kissed him, “I don’t want missing me making you sick.”

Cullen smiled and rolled her under him, “I will endeavor to not throw myself into work because I miss you.”

“Good. You already work too hard.”

Her mouth was slightly parted. Feeling her nipples brush against his chest with each breath… Maker, how he wanted to, “Medb-“

“Cullen if you don’t make love to me right now, I’m kicking you out of this bed.”

He rolled off of her and feigned sleep, “I don’t know. I’m still pretty tired.”

“You are?” Medb was caressing his chest, down over the ridges of his belly.

Maker, if she doesn’t stop… he felt a single finger nail barely touch the base of his phallus and Cullen jumped on her. Feathers flew out of the pillow. He grabbed one and grinned, “Your turn.”

“Oh,” she breathed out.

Cullen caressed the side of her face with the feather, down her neck, and through the valley of her breasts. He stopped, kissing the same path he made with the feather. Gently nipping the sides of her breasts had her squirming beneath him.

He continued with the feather over her ribs and belly, stopping to dip it into Medb’s belly button. Cullen laved the previous path, and kissed the ridge of her belly. Her belly wasn’t flat and he loved it.

Her rasping cries of his name had his phallus pulsing, but he wasn’t going to give in to his passion until she was shaking with desire. Cullen tickled her with the feather, delving in and out of her folds. Medb’s fingernails were digging into his shoulders as his tongue entered her.

Feeling her tremble, he withdrew and covered her with his body. After entering her, she met his every thrust with one of her own, desperate for release. He knew that feeling all too well. Medb ran her nails down his back and used them to cling to his butt.

Cullen was so close to losing control, yet he refused. Not until Medb orgasmed. She was closer. He could feel it in the tightness of her body, her forceful thrusts. Her sultry cries were getting louder.

Pumping deep into her one more time, Cullen smiled when she hummed in release. He was quick to follow her. One last thrust and he chuckled softly at her surprised gasp.

Medb put the last thing she wanted to take with her to Emprise in her sack. She saw that Cullen was moving slowly. It worried her, “Cullen, are you well?”

“Hm?” Cullen glanced at her.

She walked over to him and took his hands in hers, “I should stay.”

“Why?” Cullen sounded surprised.

“I don’t want to leave if you’re not well.”

Cullen smiled and stroked her hair, “If I were ill, we wouldn’t have greeted the sun so vigorously.”

She smiled and was absolutely not blushing, “What’s wrong? You seem out of sorts.”

He shook his head, “How do you do that?”

Medb tugged on his hands to get him to sit on the bed with her, “Ma Vehnan, talk to me.”

“With what I was told of the poor condition you found me in… I’m not sure how to face the Inquisition’s soldiers.” Cullen sighed, “Seeing their commander carried out by a Qunari must’ve been a sight.”

“They didn’t see you,” Medb released one of his hands to play with his hair, “Dorian and Bull had the forethought to cover you with blankets. Varric and Josephine have competing stories going as to why you’ve not been seen.”

“The reason blankets were being carried out of my chambers?”

“The roof collapsed,” Medb grinned, “Josephine has a story going about how you’re preparing me to visit Ferelden nobility.”

“I would never inflict that on you,” Cullen scowled.

She couldn’t stop her chuckle, “Varric’s story is we needed time together with the door locked. It gets raunchier every time he tells it.”

He looked equal parts horrified and intrigued. Did he mumble that he should hear those first? Medb said, “I missed that.”

“It was nothing,” He was blushing!

Looking in the direction of the doors to the balcony, she smirked, “One had us swinging from the chandelier.”

“What?” Cullen stood and paced, “I would never!”

Medb laughed, “I don’t think my back could handle it. But it’s fun to imagine.”

Cullen kissed her and murmured, “Maker, it gets harder to send you away.”

“I want you to stay here while I’m away,” Medb implored him.

“Sweetheart, I can’t. That wouldn’t be fair to you.” Cullen ran his hands down her arms.

“They don’t know when the hole in your roof is going to get fixed.” She felt tears fill her eyes, “I worry about you. I love you.”

“If it eases your mind while you’re gone, I’ll stay here until the hole is fixed.” He closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” She kissed him. Mythal, how she wished they could go back to bed. Instead, there was a knock on their door letting her know it was time.

Medb and Cullen walked hand in hand down to the main hall where Cullen murmured, “You packed extra salve?”

“I have,” Medb kissed his cheek, “Dorian doesn’t let me give all of it away anymore.”

“Good.”

“Cullen,” Medb frowned. If someone needed it more than she did…

“You deserve to be cared for and as pain free as possible too,” Cullen spoke softly so they wouldn’t be overheard, “And I don’t need letters coming back to me saying, “Why can’t you convince her to carry more salve? She’s in love with you.’”

“He wouldn’t,” Medb gasped.

Cullen merely cocked an eyebrow, “Needless to say, we all want you to care for yourself.” He stopped on the landing between the stairs and took her free hand in his, “I need you to care for yourself.”

“I need you to do the same,” Medb searched his eyes, needing to see that he understood that she couldn’t come back to him sick and delirious again. She nodded when she saw it, “Ma Vehnan.”

“I love you, too, Sweetheart.” He kissed her. Right there, for all to see.

They walked to the gate where the horses waited patiently for her and her companions. Mythal, she didn’t want to leave. Medb kissed him after she got on her horse.

She felt her cheeks warm at the low whistles and teasing, but didn’t stop kissing him. When Medb sat straight in her saddle she saw Dorian smirk, “Didn’t you just leave a bedroom?”

“Shut. Up.” Medb threw back at him. Her cheeks were hot now.

Nudging her horse to move, Medb looked back and saw Cullen with a bemused grin on his face. Her chest felt tight. She thought it was because she didn’t want to leave him. Then she coughed. Oh no.

By the time they made camp that night, Medb knew she was sick. She was shivering but her skin felt hot. Medb disappeared into her tent as soon as it was set up and fell asleep. She couldn’t be sick, too many people depended on her.

Medb was up with the sunrise and tied a scarf around her neck. She pulled it up over her mouth and nose to keep anyone else from getting ill. Her head throbbed, her throat was scratchy, and her chest was tight.

She came out of the tent and started breaking it down. Dorian noticed and walked over to her, “Breakfast first?”

“Not hungry,” Medb rasped. Talking hurt.

“What’s wrong?” Dorian raised an eyebrow at her face covering.

“I think I’ve come down with a mild illness,” Medb finished dismantling her tent.

“Then we should go back to Skyhold,” Dorian started to move to inform the others.

“No. The people in Emprise need us. I can’t make them wait longer because I’ve caught a chill,” She cleared her throat and winced.

“If this is the same thing Cullen had…”

“His was exacerbated by other things,” Medb sighed. She missed Cullen, “On the bright side, my back is equal to the rest of me now.”

“That’s not funny.” Dorian crossed his arms, glowering at her.

“I find it hilarious.” She chuckled and coughed, making her chest ache more. “Let’s go to Emprise.”

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Dragon Age Fan Fiction

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